The Proxy Diet: Bridging Mind and Energy for Effective Leadership with Tevi Lawson

Carolyn: Hi, I’m Carolyn Swora, and welcome to another episode of Evolve, a new era of leadership. Our guest today is Tevi Lawson, and Tevi is the author of a book called The Proxy Diet, a practical diet to self [00:01:00] analysis and healing. Now you might be wondering what does diet have to do with leadership? Here’s the thing.

This book talks about Tevye’s framework that bridges a gap between our mind, our self, and energy. So I think it’s a really interesting conversation that we’re going to have. ties in a lot of the things that I talk about here on this show, specifically as it relates to self awareness. So join me on this fascinating conversation that I bet we’re going to have here with Tevi next.

 Hello, Evolve listeners. We are in for another wonderful Evolve episode here. And And our guest today is Tevi Lawson, author of The Proxy Diet. Tevi, welcome to the show.

Tevi: Thank you, Carolyn. Thanks for having me. 

Carolyn: I’m, I’m really excited to dig in and understand more about what the proxy diet means and all the [00:02:00] elements to it. Yeah. The piece that really stood out to me when I came across your work was when you stated it to be like this proxy method as a framework that bridges the gap between our mind, energy, and self.

And on this podcast, we talk all about self awareness, self regulation, co regulation. So So I’d love to start with Asking you to share what brought you into this line of work or what inspired you to write this book?

Tevi: Well, what inspired me to write the book was first my own personal story being a young man came from West Africa. Came to the U. S. to study, and I was brought up in a very religious family, so that came with its own set of challenges because I [00:03:00] didn’t necessarily share the beliefs that I was raised with. And also, I grew up in a political environment that was very unstable, and at some point we had to all leave the country. We were refugees for about a year or a year and a half.

Carolyn: Oh, wow.

Tevi: And I had to, you know, you know, when I left, finally, because I couldn’t leave, I couldn’t wait to get out when I left, finally, I came to the U.

1. and it was such a culture shock because I was raised, I lived a sheltered life being part of a very I didn’t want to, I don’t want to say the C word, but it was, it was a pretty tight community, right? And I was raised with certain values and coming here to the U S having to literally learn life all over.

Being all on my own and navigating school and my personal struggles. I’ve always felt like I had to be my own, [00:04:00] like I had to be the light in my own existence because there was no one guiding me at that point. Nobody really understood where I came from what type of environment I came out of. There was the language barrier.

Because I was born and raised in the French speaking system, so I had to learn English while trying to be a student among, you know, English speaking, like a fully English speaking program. And I had to do all that. You know, and it was challenging. You know, the first few, I would say over three, four, five years were, were quite challenging.

Because there was a lot of tragedies in the family. I lost my mother in the middle of all of that at a

young 

Carolyn: Oh, 

Tevi: it was like, okay, there’s enough going on with the family. I [00:05:00] already suffered. The family already suffered a loss. I just had to plug away and move ahead. So I became very interested in keeping myself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy because spirituality was a huge part of my upbringing.

And I understood that if I don’t have my mind in order, I couldn’t survive this whole situation on my own. So I became very, I took it very seriously, understanding myself psychologically, emotionally, mentally, and keep my sanity. To the point where I can finish my studies and, you know, live a decent life.

, cause there was an opportunity for me to come to the U S and study. So I wanted to make the best of that opportunity. No excuses. I just had to figure out how to [00:06:00] keep myself emotionally and mentally healthy. the Key part that what really prompted me to write the book was my wife.

She grew up in a very toxic environment in Russia, and she was exposed to trauma, abuse, you know, some sexual misconducts around her growing up. so she had a lot of these psychological, emotional issues to deal with. I don’t really like calling it issues, challenges really to deal with.

So thing is, thing is, she managed to kind of cope with it over the years, but then there was some incidents that kind of triggered her past and made it very difficult for us as a couple because we just couldn’t go on and just keep ignoring it. And in the midst of dealing with all that, she was diagnosed with [00:07:00] cancer and 

Carolyn: Oh dear. 

Tevi: being able to maintain positive outlook on life and maintain her sanity and find a way to move forward emotionally with clarity became as basically a matter of life or death for us.

You know, as, as a couple and over the years I’ve developed these techniques that I’ve used on myself. I started helping some people with family members, close friends and stuff like that. I never thought about making a method out of it. So when we were dealing with all of that stuff, one time, cause she tried different rounds of therapy.

She started with just regular talk therapy. Somehow, they figured her issues were much deeper, so she was kind of upgraded, I would say, to like a trauma specialist. And the trauma specialist recommended that she does EMDR, which she did. So these several rounds of [00:08:00] therapy, she couldn’t quite find her way out of it.

Like, she’ll feel okay, she’ll feel slightly better for a few days or a few weeks, but she knew somehow the core of the issue was not being addressed.  

Carolyn: Mm.

Tevi: And it was getting, it went from bad to worse because she became depressed, it was just not a good situation. So one day, literally I can say now, it was out of desperation.

I politely ask her, like, you know, I’m always, I’ve been interested and I’ve done a lot of research on the subject of mind and, you know mental health and emotional healing. If you allow me. I can apply some of these techniques that I’ve developed over the years because I know they work. Now, at that time, it wasn’t something that I had structured, but I just knew that if she’d give me enough time, I can get to the bottom of it.

So, sure enough, [00:09:00] she’s like, what do we have to lose? At this point, I’ve done everything they asked me and I still don’t feel any better. So I started working with her one on one. Which is usually not recommended as a couple, but we had no other choice. We needed to find answers. I mean, I’ve always been away from my family for 20 plus years that I’ve been living in the U.

1. She’s been away from her family for as long as she’s living in the U. S. So basically we are, we’re are all we have, right? So we just, just made the decision as a family to say, okay, let’s work on this. Let’s try our best to get to the bottom of it. So we started working together and it took almost a year of intensively working and digging and analyzing and going back to trying to work on specific issues.

And finally, she felt much better.  

Carolyn: Mm.

Tevi: a lot of these dark emotions from the [00:10:00] past, the PTSD everything that she was not able to cope with or overcome in the past. Now she has tools to deal with them. Even when it shows up, she knows what to do. And slowly it started to clear up. She became a completely different person, completely different outlook on life, just complete transformation.

And we were talking and she’s like, well, what you did for me actually worked. Why don’t you turn this into some step by step program that people can follow because this can help a lot of people.  

Carolyn: Mm.

Tevi: I built this system myself based on research and my personal life experiences and the work that I’ve been able to do with people over the years.

Carolyn: And I’m going to guess, Tevi, though, like when you say research like what are, what are some of the major things that informed your research just to bring some validity to [00:11:00] what you’re doing?

Tevi: So the proxy method is built around energy level self analysis. Everything about a human being somehow can be traced to energy of some form.

Okay. 

Carolyn: And, and frequency. We all give off a level of frequency, right?

Tevi: So everything we do in life, every interactions that we’ve ever had in life has been some form of energy transaction.

Now, you start with the basic principle. Are you aware of the seven hermetic principles?

Carolyn: No. Go ahead and let us know what they are. 

Tevi: Okay. According to the seven hermetic plant principles, the first law is that the universe is mental.

Okay. Everything is mine. So basically everything that can possibly go right or wrong with the person has something to do with the mind.

That means to get to the bottom [00:12:00] of anything. That might be going wrong with the person. You need to understand the mind, not brain functions, not psychology, the mind.

so what is mind? that’s where you basically, basically the mind aspect of a person is the intelligence. The intelligent design of the person. The intelligent design creates an entity. The entity is energy.

So the mind is the intelligence that moves and shapes.

energy into whatever it is that we are.  

Carolyn: Right.

Tevi: That’s how the whole mind energy analysis, that’s how you make that correlation. on our everyday life level, Everything we are is energy. Emotions are energy. So if I scream at you right now, I’m [00:13:00] generating some energy towards you.

That energy is going to leave a mark.

 if the mark is strong enough, like a scar, it stays just like any scar. You still have scars from your childhood.

Carolyn: Right. So kind of like an emotional wound, shall we say.  Yeah.  

Tevi: Let’s say you were born into an environment and life was always a certain way and something happens that disturbs that normal of yours. That contrast leaves a mark and this is what people don’t understand about trauma. When people say trauma, they automatically think of something really dramatic, like abuse or, you know, like murder or an event.

 

Tevi: But But trauma in reality is a contrast from your norm. That’s why you can never guess how a specific event can affect the person,

because you don’t know what their baseline is.

 So what [00:14:00] causes the wound is the intensity of that contrast. when it comes to emotions, once that wound is created, just like any scars, it stays.  

Carolyn: Mm 

Tevi: So,

Carolyn: Mm

Tevi: So,

you get on with your life, you grow up, your appearance changes. I still have scars from when I was eight years old, right? I don’t look like the way I do when I was eight, but the scars from when I was eight are still here. here’s where it gets interesting. Emotional scars are magnetic, meaning the moment you have a scar, if you don’t address it, they have the tendency to keep attracting the same signature of drama or trauma to you. So that means something happened to you, it’s bad enough that you had to go through that.

But then, when you think you’ve [00:15:00] moved away from it, because we tell ourselves that time heals all wounds.

Carolyn: Which 

Tevi: does not heal wounds. It just creates enough distraction between you and the original incident.

Carolyn: Yeah.

Tevi: doesn’t heal anything. It just separates you from the point of incidence. That scar stays and starts to attract more of that stuff to you.

That’s how people get stuck in these toxic emotional cycles.

Because no matter what you do, if you don’t heal those wounds, It’s going to keep coming back.

Carolyn:  Can I, can I just add, so can I just add, so one of the teachers that I’m studying under right now, Thomas Hubble, he talks about this as well through attunement and and He gave a really interesting description and I think it’s similar to what you’re saying. It’s just described a little bit but he, he taught us around a flow of, [00:16:00] if you think of like the communication in your body, like between your brain and your spinal cord, if that’s like, flowing water.

We want to have like an unencumbered and no barriers, these emotional wounds, trauma can, can cause disruptions in how that flow happens. And if we don’t address those disruptions in the flow, we are going to continue to attract and be unable to receive that, that clear communication. So I think there’s some parallels to that isn’t there?

Is it, would you agree?

Tevi: Yes. I do agree. And Everything I’m saying, this is universal knowledge. I’m not making this up. It’s just, it’s how you connect the dots.

Carolyn: Right.

Tevi: So a lot of different schools of thoughts, philosophies, teachers practitioners, guides, we, you give them the same pieces and they’ll connect the [00:17:00] dots differently.

Okay? Now, with the proxy method, The analysis is done focusing on the energy level I call it tracing the trauma trail. Okay. You trace the trauma trail from birth because I believe, and this is a completely different subject, maybe for another day, our ego, our person, our sense of ourselves, is born out of trauma. Because when you’re born, you don’t actually remember the day you were born. For the most part, people don’t remember. You remember your first memory somewhere around maybe two, three, four, maybe five.

And that’s usually something that happened that was out of the ordinary. that’s when you remember waking up into this world. being aware of yourself, your family, the city or town you were living in, the house you were living in, all that stuff. Meaning our presence, our ego or however you want to call it, is born out of trauma. And usually [00:18:00] that first memory, and and it’s, it’s in the book, the proxy diet, that first memory of yours has some sort of message because there was something in your environment that shifted. So you trace it all the way back to the very beginning because whatever that incident was, the incident was, Somehow made a strong enough mark on you that that means that somehow it affected the way you look at life, the way you deal with life in general. It may be in the most subtle ways, but it will have an effect on how you go through life. That first memory of yours. So we analyze from the very beginning. then you see progressively what could have happened along the way. Because today when someone comes to you and say, I’m having some issues, I had some trauma.

You go straight to, Oh yeah, let’s talk about that one incidents, that one incident that you to feel that way.

Carolyn: let’s put this into a bit of a [00:19:00] different concept because our audience here is leaders. And we, we never encouraged leaders to dig into people’s past and try and unpack and solve for trauma. It’s more about from a leadership perspective of acknowledging and understanding that we all will have these emotional wounds.

They can get activated in our workplaces. And so what can, you know, what can leaders do to create an environment of safety and agency So for like, for their teams and the people they work with what in, in the, you know, you know, using your proxy method and the proxy diet, how,, what could leaders do with your methodology?

Tevi: I think it’s important to understand that it’s not about the challenge or the difficulties or the lack of performance. It’s about the person.

We set goals for the teams. We, we have objectives, we have milestones to reach, but at the end of the day, everything boils down to the individual.

 It’s important to [00:20:00] understand your team on a personal level,

beyond the business goals, beyond the expectations, beyond the needs of the role that they have. So one thing I would encourage is to give team members, employees, depending on the circumstance, a space to look at themselves. and see where they are as individuals.

Carolyn: What does that look like? Practically, Tevi, when you say give them space.

Tevi: a lot of times we go through life and we put ourselves in position to do specific things, right? For example,, let’s say you hire a CEO.

The company has some expectations from that CEO, So we set goals and we expect a certain level of performance from that person, So when you give it a certain amount of time and things are not going the way they’re supposed to, you look at the [00:21:00] situation and you say, why is it that Mr. X is not producing A, B, or C? in order to truly understand why Mr. X is not producing the results that are expected, it’s important to understand an energy level, what’s going on with Mr.

X, because over time in the corporate world, everything is an energy transaction. When you get to the point where you are at a deficit, on the energy level.

No matter how motivated you are, your production would diminish.

So how do you identify when someone is at a deficit on an energy level? Because everything we do every single day, we expect, for example, when you go to work every day, you put in a certain amount of effort, At the end of the day, you’re pretty tired, So how do you get the energy to come back the next [00:22:00] day and do it all over again? It’s probably the way that you touch people. Maybe I’ll let you answer that question.

Carolyn: well, no, I was going to say, I mean, what you’re talking about sounds like how do we avoid burnout, which is a huge topic in our workplaces. I’m going to guess though, there’s a different type of depth that you’re, that you’re referring to. So let’s take, let’s take a step into that, into that Because yes, we are oozing out energy where there’s energy flying all over the place.

So how do we manage our energy? And I think you’ve got a concept called like a blueprint. 

Kind of let’s, let’s just like, let’s dig into that piece a little bit more, that 

Tevi: Whatever you do, you spend your energy from morning to evening. You give it all right. If you don’t have a way to recharge yourself, that means you’ll give up, you’ll give it all Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, which happens all the time. By Thursday, your energy is going down by Friday.

You don’t even want to be there anymore. So you do half day. It’s like, It’s like, so this is what happens. So how do we know, how do we [00:23:00] make sure that every person that we’re expecting So much out of how do we make sure that their energy transactions are not at a deficit? Meaning the type of work that you do I’m sure there’s a reason why you left the corporate world as it was you doing what you’re doing right now Because the work that you’re doing is fueling you So you put in the effort, but you get so much back because you believe that you’re doing something that’s helping people accomplish goals, giving answers that you did not have when you were, you know, in your position. So you get that energy back knowing that you’re doing something meaningful.

Carolyn: Right.

Tevi: Okay. So that means that every single person on your team, you have to get a sense of how are they getting their energy back?

Because if they’re not getting it back, every single person, eventually their energy is just going to get lower and lower and [00:24:00] lower. And at some point it’s like, well, this person is not producing Let’s get rid of them and get somebody else in there.

 to be more specific, there is a formula that I call seven days to happiness.

Now it may sound, you know, a bit like a fantasy to some people, 

it’s actually quite efficient. 

Carolyn: And so the seven days to happiness involve how to manage your energy and

purpose. 

Tevi: Yes. So basically, because the only way you can keep doing what you’re doing with the same enthusiasm and keep going, it’s somehow you feel happy doing it. If you’re not happy doing what you’re doing, you’re not going to do it for long. Okay. People leave their jobs because they’re not happy for whatever reason.

And they go to another job hoping they’ll be happier wherever they’re So So whatever it is that people are doing, they’re doing it because they hope it’ll make it, it’ll make them happier. Okay, so the seven days is seven symbolic days,

To being happier doing whatever it is that you’re doing.

And the idea behind it is [00:25:00] that we live life in seasons. If you want to have a balanced life, personal life, professional life. You want to live your life in seasons. So look at it like a farmer. Okay, a farmer has a cycle that they go through every year. Some part of the season they have to prepare the soil. There’s a part where they have to plant seeds. There’s a part where they have to nurture that seed. They have to make sure everything is the way it’s supposed to protect those seeds until they start to bear fruit. Then you take care of that until the time comes to harvest. Right? And when you get to that point, you harvest, you’re done, take a break.

Then you start over.  

Carolyn: Right. Mm

Tevi: so you can apply this formula to pretty much everything in your life. So the seven days, it’s seven symbolic days. You can apply that within an hour. And do some self reflection. Prepare the soil, You prepare yourself mentally for what you’re going to do. You relax, you understand what it is that you’re doing. You make sure that [00:26:00] you’re in a mental and emotional state to do that kind of work. Then you start the work, you plant the seeds, wherever it is that you want to do with your life, right?

Or with that hour or that year or that month, right? Then you start working on it. You work on it,

and you see it through, and you protect your time while you’re doing that. When you get to a certain point, you see how much progress you’ve made. You acknowledge that progress. And there comes a time, no matter what it is, You accept that this is what I’ve been able to do for this hour, for this week, for this month.

Whatever it is that the goal is, this is what I was able to do. You celebrate, you acknowledge your accomplishment, and you take a break. You recharge yourself. 

Carolyn: Yeah.

Tevi: you start again.

Carolyn: And the seven date, like, the seven things of happiness are in that flow.

Tevi: Yes. So you break it up into seven steps. And like I said, the seven symbolic days, and it’s modeled after, I don’t know if you’re religious or not, but according to the Bible, [00:27:00] God created the world in six days and he rested on the seventh 

Carolyn: the seventh 

Yep. 

Tevi: We need to take the time to acknowledge what we’ve accomplished.

And this is another thing about leaders. You have to know at what point you can tell yourself, I’ve done enough.

I’m okay with my accomplishments today. I need a break, then I’ll start over.

Carolyn: we need to just hold on right there because I agree with you wholeheartedly, and I think that’s where a lot of the challenge for people comes in a few, two of them actually is stop. What if I stop, I’m not going to make as much money or I’m not going to deliver as good of a product. So that’s one learning how to stop and turning off.

And then two celebrating. And actually acknowledging I got enough, I got as much done today as I could.

And so I love, I love that your method is. bringing that back into a process and welcoming people into those important [00:28:00] steps. I’m, I’m curious, can we connect what you’ve talked about with energy and even this, like, I’ll use the word coherence, even though I know you haven’t overtly said that, but there’s something about, I’m guessing between the coherence of our purpose and what we want, like what we want to do and the coherence between what we want and how happy we are in our energy level.

Can you kind of tie those three things together for us?

Tevi: Yes, So the mind energy duality  

Carolyn: hmm.

Tevi: the mind is a design aspect. The energy is what we do every day, According to the proxy method, there is an original design of the person. the whole point of the proxy method is to clear any kind of impurity, you know, trauma, disturbances, so that you can, we can bring you back to your original design. Because when you’re living in [00:29:00] alignment with that original design, everything flows the way it’s supposed to. That means your energy comes back to you the way it’s supposed to. Just like I was, you know, I was alluding to the fact that you’re doing something you feel that you’re serving a purpose.

right? Your energy flows back to you because you live the kind of life that you try your best. We’re all just trying where you try your best to align your efforts with that original design of yours. Okay. So this is the part where we work our way toward Reconnecting with your authentic self where you get to see that original design and live by that original design.

That means a lot of people in life made decisions based on expectations.

Okay? 

Carolyn: Hmm. That other people have set. 

Tevi: Simple examples. There. people who grew up in [00:30:00] families where everyone was a doctor or everyone expecting them to be a lawyer or everyone expects them to go to MIT and be some, you know, top notch engineer. Now, that person will live a life of expectations.

They will go through everything, they will do it all, they will do it right, they might end up, you know, 4. 0 GPA, excellent students. They’ll get into the corporate world. They’ll do fantastic because that’s what’s expected of them.

Carolyn: Right.

Tevi: But then one day they will hit a wall because they will realize I’m not living.

I’m not being true to my authentic self. I’m only doing what I’m expected to do, So when you do that analysis, You start to analyze a person not only on the energy level, right? And uh, you know, analyzing their efforts and whatever is happening in their life. But you also analyze the mind level original design.

Carolyn: Hmm.

Tevi: So you bring the two together. If [00:31:00] you manage to create that synergy, that flow between that original design and whatever that person is doing here in terms of energy and effort and work and all that stuff, then you have a better chance. at finding energy through what you’re doing every day and your bank account will still keep being replenished because you’re doing what you’re supposed to do.

it’s different for each person because we have, we all have our own original design that we’re supposed to live by.

Carolyn: Right. Right. And so the idea is, is, is that we are more coherent in alignment with our original design when we understand what is blocking sort of that flow, what’s getting in the way.  So. What could you share with leaders who are listening? You know, they’re busy, they’re busy days in the office and hybrid or in remote situations.

How can they find greater coherence or find more connection to their [00:32:00] original design? Mm

Tevi: that’s a great question, because as a leader, not only do you have to do what you’re supposed to, you have to be in charge of what other people are supposed to be doing. So that leaves very little time for yourself to do that self analysis. So yes, it’s it’s a challenging situation to be in. actually,

before COVID.  I had a, I’m just going to give you a quick story. I I own a marketing agency and  basically our work was to travel nationwide and interview high level executives to get success stories and their opinions on different things. So I spent five, six years. interviewing hundreds, if not thousands of high level executives, pretty much asking them the same questions.

By doing this work, I learned a lot and And one thing I noticed is that I got to the point where I’m like, who’s looking out for our leaders? Because I noticed that [00:33:00] everyone expects everything out of them, but nobody ever stops and ask, how is he or she doing?

Carolyn:  Oh, 

Tevi: And because they’re in position of leadership, they have to protect this armor of theirs. So they cannot show vulnerability in any kind of way. So you see people literally like popping pills in the bathroom and taking shots of whatever strongest coffee they can get their hands on or whoever is in to energy drinks and different techniques and stuff, just to maintain that posture

of leadership.

Meanwhile, when you sit down and the lights come on, you look in their eyes. They’re having the same challenges as everyone else.

So to me, actually, a lot of lot of the big part of this work that I’m doing, and this is why I’m very active on LinkedIn is to be able to make it okay for people in position of leadership to admit [00:34:00] That at some point you need a pit stop. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Having responsibilities all over other people doesn’t make you less of a human because I personally believe that leaders are treated like less of humans.

We make concessions for everyone, but nobody ever stops and said the boss, did he eat today? Did she take her nap today? Is she doing okay? We just expect them to show up. We just expect them to have the answers. We expect them to be standing while everybody else is crumbling, right? So I think there has to be more of an awareness to the fact that our leaders are not doing so well.

They’re human. And it’s okay to take a pit stop and look at yourself and say, how am I doing?

And just start there. I know I worked hard for this position and I’m, I am, I am where I am, but how am I doing?

Carolyn: Yeah. It’s so simple [00:35:00] and so difficult.  Yeah.

Tevi: Because Because there’s so much coming at you all at once and you almost feel guilty for taking that time for yourself.

So you just have to keep going.

Carolyn: Yeah. Oh, Tevi, you have, I mean, again, the simplicity and the depth of what you just shared is is, is amazing. . How could our listeners find out more about your work or engage with you? What’s the best way for them to find you?

Tevi: So I have my website. It’s tabby Lawson. com. It’s also proxy method. com, whichever works.  If you don’t have the book, if you haven’t read the book yet, I highly recommend that you get the book because these things I’m saying, there’s a lot of details to it. And I went through a lot of details in the book and I give some practical examples of each cases and stuff like that. So. Once you get through, you know, the first chapter, you kind of understand the subject matter. There’s a lot of stories. There’s a lot of breaking down and [00:36:00] explaining. So if you’re interested in anything that has to do with mind level self analysis, I highly recommend that you check out the book. proxy diet.

It’s on Amazon right now. And also I’m building a community of people. Like I mentioned the seven days to happiness I’m building a community so that we can week by week, give people tools to really understand how to apply this into their lives. This is life changing. I hope to get more opportunity to speak about this because not only would it it will make you happier, but I believe it will save lives because people are literally working themselves to the ground these days,

I see young people relatively that are so devoted.

To their work and their careers

that they’re 

forgetting that that youth that strength that they feel to go forward. It’s not always going to [00:37:00] be there. You have to have a way to manage it and make it sustainable. So this system is a way for people to it. Stay productive, but do it in a healthy way that you, you keep operating at a high level, but you make it sustainable.

It’s like you breathing through it. You’re not just holding your breath for 10 years, trying to accomplish one goal.

that’s, pretty much what I’m doing right now. So we do have the membership. It’s also on the website for people who want to be involved in the community and just learn, you know, regularly and just get involved.

And I also work on cases one to one where You know, whoever’s struggling with emotional wounds, anybody that wants to clear mental blocks and find a way to reconnect with that authentic the, the authenticity

of who they are, because I believe when you live your authentic life, you actually do a lot more ever dream possible.

Carolyn: Absolutely. 

Tevi: really my goal in [00:38:00] life is to help people find the path to back to their original selves so they can be the best version of themselves

while being healthy and happier.

Carolyn: Well, we’ll make sure that those links are in the show notes for listeners. 

And before we sign off, Tevi, I ask all of the guests on Evolve three questions. 

Tevi: Okay. I’m ready.

Carolyn: All right. You don’t know what these questions are either. 

Do you? Sometimes, sometimes 

Tevi: it. 

Carolyn: them coming in. So these three questions revolve around my book evolve and three elements or three areas that I, I think are important for leaders to develop and nurture.

So one is self awareness. One is self regulation and one is co regulation. So here are the questions in those three areas. Would you share with us a story or an anecdote, a short, a short one about how your self awareness really [00:39:00] grew. Could be a small interaction and maybe it was a big thing, but just a short little anecdote.

Tevi: How my self awareness grew?

Carolyn: Yeah. What caused your self awareness to really expand? And typically we have these moments in our lives that impact us. So, 

Tevi:  I, I guess I’m living it right now because when my book was published I was a full time real estate broker in Florida.

Carolyn: Hmm.

Tevi: And by the time I actually published the book, I came to the realization that my life just changed and I can no longer be that person and this person at the same time.

Carolyn: Wow.

Tevi: So the whole book is ultimately focused on reconnecting with that authentic self, So I had to ask myself, am I being authentic to myself? Is this the best, best version of myself that I’m living? And I realized I had to reinvent myself. So I sold [00:40:00] everything. I got rid 

of all my possessions and my whole life.

my wife and I, we packed two suitcases and two carry on bags. And we’re traveling the world. So basically this is a spiritual journey really for me where in order to live my truth, I had to live my truth and and I had to reconnect with my authentic self. And this is what I’m doing now. And every single time I get to talk about this subject and interact with someone, I get so excited because I am living my authentic life and I feel grateful for that.

Carolyn: That’s beautiful, Tibby. Thank you. So, as you are traveling the world I am curious to hear, as are the listeners, about practices or rituals that you turn to, to help you stay in a connected state, in a calm state, in a [00:41:00] regulated state.

Tevi: I highly recommend making time for yourself in the morning to do a quick meditation. And my favorite meditation is sensory meditation, I personally, I prefer sound, wherever you are, just, you know, isolate yourself and just focus on one element.

In your surrounding. Maybe it’s the birds. Maybe it’s the trees are moving with the wind. Maybe it’s the waves. I don’t know if you know somewhere near the beach, but you focus on that one sound and you just relax. 10 minutes, 15 minutes

and try not to think of anything. And the amazing thing about it is like you go in intentionally try not to think of anything.

and you come out of it with all kinds of answers.

that’s why I recommend it. And And my second, recommendation would be as much as you can, try to journal.

Carolyn: Do you have a process to how you journal that works for you?

Tevi: [00:42:00] yes, so every time, like before I wrote my book, I actually gave myself like a 90 day meditation challenge where I had to meditate every single day and journal.

So what I recommend is to, whenever you do your meditation, right after, even if it’s a one liner, write something, 

whatever comes to you,

just write something. You’ll be amazed looking back how much you’ve evolved just doing this simple practice, but it’s quite powerful.

Carolyn: I like how you snuck the name of my book into that, Evolve. Tevi, my last question. So this one is around co regulation and I know music is a, a very amazing. way that we can feel connected to each other. And so we would love to hear what is a song or genre of music that helps you feel connected to something bigger than yourself.

Tevi: Remember the gladiator?

The 

movie. 

There’s the, I think I forgot the name of [00:43:00] it. We are one or something like that And it’s almost you know enya, right?

Carolyn: Yeah. 

Tevi: Her that style of you know, okay It’s something like that I think it’s really cool and it allows me to go places that I enjoy going to. And actually, I mean, to talk about sounds, my favorite sound is the sound of the waves at the beach. 

That’s like my favorite kind of music.

Okay.

Carolyn: Oh, love it. I just looked up. There’s a, there’s a song called Now We Are 

Tevi: yes, 

Carolyn: That’s it. All right. Now we are 

Tevi: Now we are 

Carolyn: soundtrack. Beautiful. Well, Tevi, thank you so much for making the time . And really appreciate your perspectives and and what you’re bringing into the world and how you’re aligning to your, your authenticity and your original blueprint, your original design.

Tevi: Thank you. I truly appreciate the opportunity and thank you for the work that you’re [00:44:00] doing because I truly believe that more people should spend time asking who’s looking out for our leaders 

because we need our leaders. We need them healthy. We need them strong. We need them inspired.

Carolyn: We do. We do. We do. Thanks again, 

Tevi: Thank you.

Carolyn: It was so clear to me that Tevye’s passion for helping leaders is at the forefront of his work. You know, you heard him say just how much leaders tend to. Put themselves to the side and spend a lot of time looking after other people and delivering on the objectives that they need to for the organization.

And they don’t make time to stop and explore things that are going on with themselves. So I really admire Tevi’s passion around that. And I think the more voices that we can hear to help you all help us all as leaders, find a way that helps us look [00:45:00] inward. We know from the research that leaders who examine themselves, the structures, the personality habits, the blind spots, the defense mechanisms, there’s lots of the different ways out there that you can do this.

And I’m really grateful that Tevi came on the show and shared with us his proxy method. Thanks so much for tuning in. It would be fantastic if you could rate and review our podcast and Check out my website, Carolyn Swara. com. Lots of fun stuff there, and there could be a tool or two there that you might find helpful for you in your leadership journey.

Thanks for tuning in. We’ll see you again soon.